Is Your Closet a Battleground?
When your clothes no longer fit the way they used to, it’s time to honor your changing body with outfits that inspire confidence and foster your sense of style.
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Solutions for Midlife Closet Problems
Unless you are a natural-born fashionista, you may find yourself having a minor wardrobe crisis when perimenopause hits. Waistlines thicken, belly skin bulges, derrières flatten and drop, and clothes just don’t fit the same way they used to. Parts of your body that you previously admired may no longer have the same look, while certain fabrics can make hot flashes even more exasperating.
What can you do when your favorite outfits no longer work?
To begin with, take the time to evaluate your personal style. What is or isn’t working in your wardrobe? Are there pieces that haven’t left your closet in years? I believe style is for everyone. It’s not about your age or your shape; it’s about having the clothes that make you feel beautiful and confident.
I’ve never considered myself remotely fashionable, but surprisingly, I’ve discovered that finding my style in my late 40s has been an enjoyable and unexpected journey.
Ready to get started? While there are no rules in fashion, personal style begins with understanding a few key guidelines. From there, it becomes easier to shop for silhouettes, colors, and accessories that compliment your features.
My Style, Past & Present
I’ve long been fearful of “fashion.” Having spent decades as a yoga and pilates therapist, I perfected the athleisure look long before it was trendy. My drawers were filled with black leggings, tank tops, and long sleeve shirts—practical and appropriate clothes for work, but not necessarily a reflection of my personal style. While my wardrobe was comfortable to live and work in, I wanted to create a new professional impression as someone launching a beauty brand.
Beyond workout gear, the rest of my wardrobe consisted of basics like T-shirts, sweaters, jeans and a few little black dresses for formal events. Unfortunately, none of these pieces were appropriate for starting a new career. Bewildered on how to put together a suitable wardrobe, I hired a personal stylist. It was an investment, but what I learned about myself, and finding clothes that flatter my frame, has been invaluable.
How to Figure Out Your Personal Style
Use Your Words: Have you heard of the three word method, a fashion framework popularized by stylist Alison Borstein? It’s simple but effective! Pick three adjectives that best define your ideal personal style and use them as a starting point to build a foundational wardrobe to guide your shopping choices. My stylist and I spent time discerning what words captured the wardrobe I envisioned. Here are my words: feminine, architectural, and elegant. I realized I love wearing dresses that have interesting pleats or other details such as ruffles but are more elevated than casual sundresses.
With those three words in mind, I KonMari’ed my closet, donating any items that no longer fit my body or sparked joy. Then it was time to begin building the foundation of clothes that I would love to wear. My goal was to be able to walk into my closet each morning and be able to quickly choose pieces that would be suitable for whatever the day called for: online meetings, business lunches, or dinner out with friends.
It took some time to pick the right items, but I eventually found the perfect assortment of dresses, skirts, pants and tops that fit my body and made me feel confident. When in doubt, I kept returning to my three words to decide if a new item of clothing was worth trying on or passing by. This small tip eliminated countless hours of meandering through stores and online sites wondering if something would suit me.
Curate Your Best Colors: Are you a “spring”, “summer”, “fall”, or “winter”? The color analysis trend we grew up with is back, and with it an entire cottage industry of color consultants who will drape multiple fabric swatches over your shoulders to assess which colors are most flattering for your skin, hair, and eyes. My stylist introduced this process and helped me land on a soft summer color palette. At the time, I had no idea that wearing muted colors highlighted my features instead of washing me out. I wrongly assumed that “washed out colors” would do the same for my complexion.
Because patterns scared me at first, I initially focused on clothing in a neutral palette of cream, blush, navy and black, which were easy to mix and match. From there, I branched out into dusty colors best suited for the soft summer palette. The most recent step in my style transformation has been adding floral patterns into the mix.
Shop for Your Shape: Have you heard of the kibbe body type? I discovered this system while reading one of my favorite style blogs by Gabrielle Arruda. And while I’m still not entirely sure of my kibbe type (work in progress), I have a better understanding of how the cut of clothing can be more or less flattering on my frame. They are long articles, but worth the read if you are interested in deep dives about individual color palettes and building personal style.
Because I enjoy dressing in a feminine way, I prefer to wear dresses that have belts or ruching. Wrap dresses have been popular for good reason; they are fantastic options no matter your size or shape.
Adjust for Body Changes
Learning the foundation of your personal style is the beginning. Adapting the principles to your body is the next step. As a slim, petite person, it may seem like I have no business worrying about my size. However, despite having a smaller frame, I’ve struggle with body image issues for most of my life. Making peace with perimenopausal changes can be an ongoing exercise. But by elevating my personal style and finding flattering clothes, I have discovered greater body confidence in middle age than I ever felt in my twenties. And I’m certainly having more fun with my wardrobe!
Find the Right Undergarments. If you haven’t been fitted for a bra recently, it’s time. Having the right support underneath your clothing can make or break an outfit.
Choose “You” Over Trends. The barrel cut jean that is popular now just isn’t for me so no matter how stylish it is, I won’t be wearing it. Same goes for ultra-low cut pants or ultra-high rise because neither are attractive on me.
Find a Good Tailor. Don’t be afraid to get a garment altered if it doesn’t fit perfectly. My stylist shared this tip: the more expensive the piece, the more likely it will need to be altered. While I found this tip maddening at first, I have found it rings true. My favorite go-to dress was an investment, and it still had to be shortened. But I love it and consequently wear it frequently. You may be in between sizes since perimenopausal weight sits differently on the body than previous weight. A tailor can easily make adjustments for a flattering fit.
My favorite black dress! Dress for Temperature. Fabrics matter! Because internal body temperatures can fluctuate with hot flashes, I prefer to wear cotton, linen or silk as I find those fabrics more cooling against my skin than synthetics. Also, dress in layers. You can quickly go from feeling comfortable to burning up during a hot flash. Having layers makes it easy to adjust to your body temperature. Scarves and jackets can add additional pattern or textures to an outfit while keeping it practical for managing shifting body temperatures.
How I Shop Today
These days shopping has shifted from a dreaded event to something enjoyable; I am no longer unsure of what will flatter my frame or what colors to choose from. The clothes in my closet bolster my confidence no matter what the day brings. While I enjoy shopping online, I have found that I’m more likely to find the best fit and sometimes discover something outside of my comfort zone when shopping in person.
My Go-To Brands and Stores
Denim: Mother Denim has a petite option that fits me well.
Dresses: J. Marie, Cara Cara, and Roller Rabbit. My favorite dress was an investment, but I’ve worn it countless times in the past year. It goes from day to night effortlessly, and I always feel fantastic when I wear Room 502.
Sweaters: La Ligne is so timeless and elegant, but also just the right amount of fun. The founders met while working at Vogue and understand tailoring and construction like no one’s business!
Blouses: Sezane makes gorgeous shirts in beautiful fabrics.
Neutrals and basics for casual or work: I love Aritzia for shorts, pants and blazers. And I can confirm that their effortless pants are truly effortless!
Office Attire: M. M. LaFleur is excellent for basic pieces suited for the office. You can also resell your items on their online store if you find you no longer need them. And they can help you style your overall outfit.
Department stores: Nordstrom offers a good range of clothes and shoes. Bergdorf Goodman and Neiman Marcus are other favorites to browse online.
Consignment sites: For shoppers on a budget with expensive taste, The Real Real, Poshmark and Dora Maar are fantastic options to snag a resale special piece for your closet. You can also sell the outcasts from your closet and earn some cash.
Your homework this week is to get rid of something in your closet that makes you feel bad about yourself. If you haven’t worn it in a year, donate it or take it to a consignment shop. It’s a good first step toward creating a closet that brings you peace and happiness.
Much like pregnancy, perimenopause brings many changes to your body. It can be more challenging to get dressed without understanding what colors and cuts suit your frame. But instead of hiding behind shapeless garments, realize this time can be one of personal discovery and a chance to express yourself in a new way. What are your favorite go-to brands that make you feel your best? Drop a line in the comments section and let me know.
Movement Snack: This week I am demonstrating effective stretches for the shoulders and neck which build upon the movement snack from last week about posture. If you don’t have a foam roller, you can still do these exercises lying on the floor.
Cheers to looking and feeling your best,
Susan
Susan Campbell
Founder & CEO, Phosis
Yes! I love all your cute outfits! I can definitely relate to running around in athletic wear. Since the majority of my days are spent cleaning the house, going for a walk at the lake or grocery shopping, doing yoga, camping or just doing day trips in the woods, quick dry shorts, t-shits and Tevas are pretty much my staple. Lol
But I hit that place you are talking about. Things just don't sit right on my body like they used to. It's annoying. Going up a size and settling for the middle-aged look.
But when I get ready to go on a date with my hubs I start rummaging through the hangers. So back in early spring I decided to embrace the middle-aged me and bought some new clothes.
Love your style! You look great!
And the video is exactly what I need today after creek tubing earlier this week. Lol
I liked this post after reading the first few sentences! Athleisure wear has also been and sort of remains my uniform. I need to exercise close to two hours a day for my wellness so always want to be ready for it. But I totally related to so much of what has motivated your focus on fashion. Adjusting to perimenopausal body changes and history of body shaming makes clothing shopping rough. I’ve read Marie Kondo and just this week tossed something that made me feel just ridiculous. Not cute at all. And that was before reading your post. So we’re on the same page. I’ve also had my colours done! I’m a woodsy autumn. I’m just finding I’m better able at getting rid of items than finding good new ones. I really appreciate any woman who speaks openly and vulnerably about her body image struggles especially through midlife. Thin women are not immune. ♥️