The Kind of Scared I Need Right Now
The Upcoming Trip that Terrifies Me + Skincare Q&A
She’s NOT your Grandma’s gyno. Dr. Heather Bartos is a Dallas-based OBGYN, Reiki Master, creator of Menopause Rocks, and author of the forthcoming book Quickies: One Hundred Little Lessons for Living Sexily after Midlife. (Reserve your copy ahead of the June 2025 release here.) Dr. Bartos, who also sits on the Phosis advisory board, was kind enough to interview me in her most recent edition of Midlife Unzipped here on Substack. We chatted about beekeeping, menopause, skincare, midlife pivots, and so much more. Subscribe to watch or read here (her content is always worth it!) or check out some of my favorite free-to-all posts like The Art of Anting and Midlife Women are the True Monsters.
Today’s letter includes:
🦋 Perspective: Facing my fears at 50: The upcoming trip that terrifies me
🦋 Problem / Solution: What is barrier repair, and why is it so important in perimenopause?
🦋 Peri/menopause news: 3 symptoms you shouldn’t ignore
🦋 Pause: Can you twist like a flamingo? A playful pose to strengthen your quads.
Perspective
I am, by nature, a planner. Not in the “neat calendar, color-coded sticky notes” kind of way (though yes, I do own a label maker), but more like: I like to know what’s coming. I like a map. I like a list. I like the illusion of control.
Which is probably why I surprised myself when I spontaneously clicked “book now” on a trip that terrifies me.
This spring, I turn fifty. And when I started thinking about how I wanted to mark this milestone, I kept circling the same question: What would make me feel wildly alive? What would be transformational?
The answer came in the form of a gravel cycling camp in Girona, Spain. Specifically, the Feisty Girona Gravel Camp—a five-day, women-led, women-only cycling adventure that promises climbs, camaraderie, and tapas for women specifically in perimenopause and menopause (is this my tribe or what??). A friend had linked to it on Substack (proof that those late-night scrolls can lead somewhere good). Before I could overthink it and chicken out, I signed up.
Now, let me be clear: I am not new to doing scary things. I signed up for an Olympic distance triathlon (32 miles) without owning a bike. I started beekeeping in midlife despite a deep, childhood fear of bees (spoiler: you get used to getting stung). I launched a luxury skincare company in the middle of perimenopause (and the height of brain fog), despite not having a background in beauty, skincare formulation, or running a DTC brand. Fear and I are old friends. But this trip? This trip has me shaking in my brand new carbon-soled shoes.
For one: the altitude. Girona is no joke. These are not gentle Sunday strolls on two wheels. These are climbs that demand lungs, legs, and a stubborn belief in your own ability.
Then there’s the climbing itself. Gravel is unpredictable, rough, and humbling. It doesn’t care how strong you were three years ago when you last had a consistent training schedule. It wants to know who you are now.
And who I am now is... someone who’s finding her way back to herself. Between the years of building Phosis, getting one kid off to college, and navigating teenagehood with the other, my weekends haven’t exactly been leisurely training rides. But lately, I’ve been carving out space—just a couple of hours at a time—to get back on the bike. To remember what it feels like to move forward under my own power, breath ragged, heart full.
There’s something exquisitely vulnerable about choosing fear when you don’t have to. At this age, it would be so easy to coast. To stay in my zone of competence and confidence. But I want more than that. I want the mess, the sweat, the “can I actually do this?” moments. I want the version of myself that shows up after the doubt.
That’s why, instead of spending my birthday money on a statement bag, I’m spending it on a trip to Spain where I’ll be wheezing up hills, laughing with strangers-turned-friends, and pushing my limits under a wide Mediterranean sky. No map. No plan for how it all goes. No guarantee that I’ll actually be able to climb to the top of all these mountains. Just a willingness to be scared, and to do it anyway.
And honestly? That feels like the best way to celebrate fifty.
Friendly reminder: If you like this newsletter, will you re-stack or hit the heart ❤️ at the bottom of your email? It makes a huge difference, and if you leave a comment, please know that I read and respond to every one of them.
Problem / Solution
Q: What is the skin’s barrier function—and why does it matter so much during perimenopause?
A: When your body is strong, it's more resilient. You bounce back faster. You recover better. Your energy holds steady. Your skin works the same way.
Your skin’s barrier function is essentially its strength—its ability to protect, repair, and retain what it needs to thrive. It's the outermost layer of your skin (the stratum corneum), and its job is simple but vital: keep the good things in (like moisture) and the bad things out (like irritants and pollution). Think of it like a brick wall: your skin cells are the bricks, and the lipids (including ceramides) are the mortar holding everything together.
During perimenopause, that built-in strength starts to falter. As estrogen levels dip, your skin produces fewer lipids and less collagen. That means your barrier becomes weaker, making skin more prone to dryness, inflammation, and sensitivity. You may find that things that never bothered your skin before—like wind, new products, or even your usual cleanser—suddenly leave you red or irritated.
But just like you can build physical strength with the right support—nutrition, movement, rest—you can also rebuild your skin’s strength. And that starts with barrier-focused care.
Three ways to support your skin barrier:
Avoid harsh cleansers or overexfoliation. I prefer an oil-based cleanser—watch this space for more on that. At the very least, choose a formula that doesn’t foam and skips skin-stripping ingredients like sulfates. Limit even gentle exfoliation (exfoliating enzymes and acids count!) to just a few times a week.
Add a barrier repair cream to your routine. At night, this should be your last step. During the day, you can layer it under a physical sunscreen. A barrier cream rich in ceramides acts like mortar for your skin’s brick wall, helping to restore strength and prevent water loss.
If your skin still feels parched or dull, reach for a replenishing oil. Layer a lightweight botanical oil over your barrier cream to seal everything in and restore suppleness. Think of it as a final, nourishing layer of protection—like wrapping your skin in a silk robe.
Leave a comment with a skincare question, and I’ll answer as many as I can!
Peri/menopause News
💰As menopause is having a moment, a new report from Forbes says that women are leaving established careers to advocate for it. Ummm call me? I have about 37 friends here on Substack I can add to your list!
📅 Mark your calendars: Our girl Oprah is tackling menopause in her latest special, which will air March 31st on ABC, according to the Hollywood Reporter.
🫦SELF reports on anxiety, dry eye, and joint pain — 3 often-ignored perimenopause symptoms. 🤩More public figures are sharing their perimenopause stories: This week Amy Schumer reveals how hormone therapy from a telehealth company has improved her sex life, and Elizabeth Banks shares lifestyle changes she’s made to beat perimenopause brain fog.
Pause
This week’s movement snack is about strengthening those quads but with a playful twist — literally. Twisted Flamingo is not necessarily a traditional pose, but it keeps me humble and encourages me to laugh if I can’t hold my balance. Enjoy!
If you’re not the twisty type (or maybe even if you are!), here’s one more way to pause this week: Connecting with nature is one of my favorite ways to center myself and find calm in an otherwise busy day. Admittedly, I have a butterfly obsession, and was delighted when I came across this article. Type in your zipcode and learn what butterflies are thriving in your area.
Cheers to looking and feeling your best,
Susan
Susan Campbell
Founder & CEO, Phosis
You are brave, always have been!! Have a great adventure.
How about skin care for ancient ones who won’t get “plastic” work? 💖
I am just in LOVE with that post-training ride pic of you! You look so joyful and completely at home in yourself and in THE WORLD! So inspiring! We all deserve to feel this way. Hooray!