Curly Confidence

Even in middle age, I’ll always be a curly girl.

Renaissance painting hair day.

For all of my new subscribers and followers out there, hello! I’ve gotten a couple of requests for curly hair content this summer, so here is a re-post that contains my general tips and very favorite products. Curly girls, please share your own in the comments!

My curly hair has a life of its own. Some days, I have cascading, softly defined spirals straight out of a Renaissance painting. Other days, I walk outside and, poof, suddenly my hair is a halo of fuzz. And then there are times when my curls lose their bounce and flatten into limp waves. How can one head of hair experience so many looks? It’s a question I’ve pondered over the years. With time, I’ve come to understand that it’s part of the magic and mystery of curls, and I’m happy to share that I have learned to not only embrace my hair but also love my natural texture. 

I didn’t always feel this level of hair harmony. In fact, I fought with my curls until my mid-30s. Despite herculean efforts to tame them, they always looked disheveled by the end of the day. I feared frizz, so I often hid my curls in a top knot or a long braid to avoid feeling self-conscious. Turns out, building curl confidence is a learning curve. Through trial and error, I’ve discovered what makes my curls look their best, and now wear my hair down with confidence.

Curls Just Wanna Have Fun

Curls can look, feel, and behave entirely differently from one day to the next, depending on the season, local climate, and weather. Why is textured hair so unpredictable? The S-shape of a curly strand naturally lifts the hair’s outer cuticle, leaving this protective layer slightly raised (unlike straight hair, which has a fairly flat and smooth outer layer). This structural difference makes curls naturally drier and more vulnerable to outside elements and water loss. Curls are also very responsive to products and tools, which is a blessing and a curse. Nourished curls will thrive, but if you strip away moisture or style too aggressively, they quickly become damaged and prone to breakage. 

Hair Changes in Perimenopause

If you think curly hair care sounds complicated, try adding shifting hormones to the mix. Perhaps you’ve experienced more dryness, brittleness, thinning, or hair loss? I know I have. Research suggests that estrogen influences your hair follicle, and menopause impacts everything from hair growth and texture to the skin underneath it. Your scalp, which produces less oil, may also become more dry and sensitive. 

I’ve recently been trying to adjust my own routine to compensate for changes to my hair over the past year. I used to have a huge mane of curls that I once took for granted. As my hair has become noticeably thinner and drier, I added B vitamins to my supplements as well as zinc (in addition to the magnesium I was already taking) to encourage growth. Stress is known to contribute to hair loss, so I’m also prioritizing time for rest and relaxation. Additionally, I give my curls extra TLC with the right products and curly-approved hair habits.

Tips for Happy, Healthy Curls 

Get a Haircut. A professional stylist is a great resource to help you adjust to big transitions impacting the health and quality of your hair. Perimenopause and menopause can bring changes to your tresses. If your current hair length or style no longer suits you, a fresh haircut and styling tutorial can make a big difference. I love long hair, but mine had become fine and stringy at the ends, and overall wasn’t looking fantastic. By removing several inches and adding long layers, my curls look and feel fuller. 

Enjoying shorter hair after a recent trim.

Shampoo Sparingly. You may not feel clean unless you shower every day, but know that curls don’t benefit from daily cleansing or traditional shampoos, even sulfate-free shampoo. Naturally dry hair textures need to hang onto their protective oils, so it’s best not to wash too frequently. While I get my hair wet every day in the shower, I only lather my curls once a week or so. Right now, my favorite shampoo is this one; I have found that it’s excellent at cleansing without stripping my hair. In between washings, I use an apple cider vinegar rinse to maintain a healthy scalp and add softness.  

Hydrate, Hydrate, Hydrate. Curls are thirsty and need ample moisture to retain definition and avoid frizz, but not all conditioners are universal. Curls, coils, and waves require different levels of hydration, so choose one that suits your specific curl type and texture. Because my curls tend to be on the dry side, I regularly apply this plant oil-rich mask from Earth Science Hair.  

Prevent Frizz. In addition to daily conditioning, curls benefit from styling products that provide a barrier to the elements. Creams, oils, and serums can lock moisture inside the strand and prevent humidity from penetrating the cuticl,e which can lead to frizz. Many curlies need a combination of products, such as a curl cream and silicone serum or oil, to get lasting frizz protection. Another simple way to minimize frizz is to avoid touching your hair once it dries. And please, under no circumstances should you brush dry curls—unless you are going to an 80s-themed party and big, frizzy hair is your desired look.

Despite your best efforts, you may find that midday frizz still happens, especially in humid climates. If you’re on the go, it’s wise to pack a travel-friendly curl cream or oil to smooth down unexpected flyaways if you’re worried about your curls getting a little too wild during the day. Worst case scenario? Keep a hair pin or elastic band in your purse for a quick and easy updo (or ponytail) that can tame the wild frizz without sacrificing self-confidence.

Embracing your curls is easy once you figure out the right products for your texture.

Style Wet Hair. Be sure to add your styling products while your hair is damp. You may need to experiment with the order of how you layer products to give your curls maximum hydration and encourage curl formation. After showering, I use Lush’s Curl Power to damp hair for detangling and maintaining moisture.  And if it’s going to be a really humid day, I may also add Olaplex No. 9 or Eleven Smooth & Shine Anti-Frizz Serum. One of my favorite products right now is Eleven I Want Body Texture Spray, a lifesaver for adding texture and lift to my crown of my hair while creating the impression of fullness. Eleven Make Me Shine Spray Gloss is a great hairspray to use when I need to ensure my curls keep their shape all day long.  

Also, never towel-dry your curls; I like to dry my tresses by wrapping them up with an old cotton t-shirt. Curly hair tangles easily, so I take time to detangle with my fingers after applying styling products. Most importantly: resist the urge to touch your curls as they dry.   

Lower (or Skip) Heat. Blow-drying is damaging for every hair type, but it’s extra-hard on curls. Remember how curly strands have a naturally lifted cuticle? Heat further damages this protective layer, not to mention creates unwanted frizz. Most of the time, I air-dry my curls. When I’m at the salon, my stylist recommends using a hood dryer because the low, evenly dispersed heat gently dries hair without disrupting my curl pattern. On the rare occasion that I need to use a hair dryer at home, I always use a diffuser attachment. Has anyone tried a Dyson Air Wrap on their curls? I was completely surprised on how well it work on my hair (see Renaissance painting hair day photo above)!

Embracing your curls is about letting go of the expectation of perfection and accepting the imperfection. (Probably a good life lesson in general.) And some days, no matter how much I condition my hair, it can still get frizzy. And as I age, I know my hair is not going to be as thick as it was 10 years ago. And that’s ok. More importantly, I’ve come to the place where I’m grateful that my hair days are no longer “good” or “bad”, but just a new day, and a new curl adventure.

Are you a member of the curly hair club, too? I’d love to hear about the routine that works best for you. What about length? Are you loving longer hair these days or do you prefer a shorter style? I want to know! 

Enjoying this newsletter? Join us on IG for more tips, information, and inspiration.  

Movement Snack: Using my hair texture as an inspiration, this week’s movement snack is all about spirals. Enjoy! 

Cheers to looking and feeling your best,

Susan

Susan Campbell

Founder & CEO, Phosis